My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
