Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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