will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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