I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
