You work out of a Hotel?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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