was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
