when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
