Please, let me fuck your mom
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
