last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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