What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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