If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
