he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
