She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
