Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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