Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
