help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
