my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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