false alarm. still invincible.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
