just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
God, I missed his penis.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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