My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
