You just made me feel so damn special
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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