The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
