Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
