In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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