I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
