Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
