my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
