I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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