yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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