i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize