next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize