So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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