Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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