I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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