Princesses don't give blow jobs
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
