escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
