You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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