yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize