Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
