Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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