went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
