dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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