come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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