we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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