If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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