I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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