We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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