the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize