There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You smell like stripper and shame
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
