First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
