So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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