I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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