I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Where is the hickey?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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