Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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