I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
