If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
