I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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