So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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