5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
