what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize