Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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