I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
