All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
