I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
