What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
