So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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