i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize