He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
