u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
