i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
